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fudge2987
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Name: Roy
Country: United States
Birthday: 12/29/1987
Interests: Music, food, eating, cooking, sleeping, hangingout w/ friends, snowboarding, sleeping on the beach, playing soccer, listening to my opera, watching movies, California, cardigans, and slippers
Message: message me
AIM:  rkl2987
Member Since:
2/28/2005
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| These last couple of weeks have been tough. I'm not using this as a mode to complain or to bicker, but just to share with my brothers and sisters my distress. Pray for me. I think I'm getting anxious of what is to come. With my graduation slowly arriving, I am starting to realize that I have no idea what God has in store for me in the next 5-10 years.
Still, God has shown me grace. While doing my morning qt he brought upon a revelation. We, as a people, are not measured by who we know, what we are like, or even what we accomplish. The true measure of a person is found in the character in times of hardship. It is about what we do when we are tired weak and weary that really defines who we are as sons and daughters of Christ.
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| Church today was probably one of the most emotional experiences I've had in a couple of years. I came to church with a rather heavy heart. I hadn't done something that God specifically asked me to do, and I was wondering what I was holding on to. I already knew the answer, but I still needed to lay it at the feet of God. I guess overall I was just burdened with my lack of faith and thankfulness.
Anyways, from the first moment I started singing praise, I felt God's immediate presence. He knew the heaviness that dwelled in me, and more than that, he knew just what I needed: to dwell in his presence. To feel the love of the father is something that is inexplicable, so I won't even attempt. Dan started to give the message on David and Goliath. He tied it into the gospel by using the concept of the "federal head". This is basically a figure that represents a certain group or even nation. For example, Adam was a federal head for the human race, so that when he sinned, we all became sinners. He then tied it into the gospel by showing us how Jesus then became the federal head and took and shattered the burden of sin. By this one action, we are all saved and able to experience grace, joy, happiness, and most of all love.
At the end, he showed this video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VJMbk9dtpdY&feature=related. If you want background on the subject then you should go to my facebook and look at my articles. It is the one labeled "World's Greatest Dad". This video absolutely broke me. I had my arms crossed to not look like I was showing emotion but I was crying. I can't remember the last time I cried this hard, but I could not stop. God saw me in my brokeness and put his arms aroudn me. He comforted me in a way that only God could. So many sentences are rushing into my head, but I'll stop here. I just hope and pray that once again, I will never stop giving thanks.
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| I love how God knows exactly what we need and when we need it. All has been taken care of.
"God, in his furious love, is chasing after us" - Pastor Eugene
Gotta love the imagery.
So today I went to ACF just like every Thursday of every week, but this week was different. I was humbled beyond belief. I don't want to turn this into a super long entry, so I shall get straight to the point. Pastor Enoch from BCEC gave a sermon on the 10 lepers. Everyone probably knows the story; 10 lepers are healed but only one comes back to give thanks to Jesus Christ. His message was on giving thanks, but the point I want to highlight is his explanation for our lack of it. To put it much less eloquently, Pastor Enoch said that our inability to give thanks to God for our parents, our friends, our school, our food, etc. etc. is because we feel like we inherently deserve it. That all of these blessings from God are somehow earned or merited. How can God love a selfish asshole like myself....... I will never understand.
This concept of "giving thanks" goes straight into the gospel. In no way did we deserve grace. We probably did the exact opposite thing. Sorry, i'm going off my notes now so it is probably very disorganized. Enoch also talked about how Jesus recieved reverse grace. He was perfect and blameless yet he carried the weight of all our sins and all of the sins to come. A part of faith is KNOWING and UNDERSTANDING that God never deserved this. A part of faith is knowing and understanding the full weight of what God did and experienced all so that we could live. I will never comprehend the full weight of this sacrifice, but I pray that God will constantly reveal his heart to me. Why me God? Why did you save me?
Another cool thing that Enoch mentioned was the concept of sin. If a person feels convicted to repent of one particular sin or fix one thing, than whatever is compelling you to do these things is probably not of God. God calls for our utter and complete surrender.
Goodnight Boston
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| Beginning of the year. BEGINNING OF THE YEAR! I think it's slowly starting to hit me that I can't avoid this monstrous boulder approaching most commonly referred to as "the real world". It is going to change everything; my surroundings, my friends, my relationships. It is going to rock me to my very foundation, but for now, I am still a college student and in that context, I must find the greatest capacity in which I can serve Him.
I've been running away from it all. P. Eugene gave a sermon on this subject this sunday and I couldn't have been more shaken. I am running away from God. All that he has planned for me. All that he wants to bless me with. I am running away blindly with tears falling down my face and I can't understand why! But, the good and perfect news is that he is chasing me and he will never stop. God will continue to run after me until he has me fully. I love that metaphor. Our father will run through it all, in order to reach our poor, broken, bitter, sin-ridden, ugly soul. I will never understand it all.
As much as I ran, God never let me out of His sight and I think I'm starting to see the vastness of the glory that is God. Just a glimpse. I mean, this love that we claim to know. This love that litters our songs and movies and conversations what is it? I don't know, but I do know that it has the ability to break down a man to his very core. Just the presence of God can make the strongest man fall to His knees. It can make the hardest soul break down in tears. What is it? We can only know and try to understand by undertaking in it. Why am I sitting here waisting my life on trying to embetter myself when I will always end up dissapointed at the product. Nothing waits for me down that road so why do I continue to run? Alas, it is time for me to turn around, run towards my father in desperation, and embrace him.
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| Next chick flicks I am very much looking forward to:
Love Happens
and
New York, I Love You
watch the trailers please
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